My Grandma...

This last weekend (since Thursday at 2:45 am) has been a really emotional and tender time for me. At 2:45 am Thursday morning, Mom called and said that Grandma was convulsing and incoherent, and her time was probably short. Mom and Dad couldn't drive to the care center to see her, because they had each taken some medication. So Jan and I drove up there with them, and ended up being at the care center until 9:00 that evening.

It was such a long day--but good to see so much family. I loved getting to spend time with my Aunts and Uncle, even under such circumstances. We were praying she would make it until my Aunt Annette could get there from Phoenix, which she did. But then Grandma rallied a little bit, and it became hard because she was now coherent, and wanted so much to die, to be with my Grandfather who died 19 years ago. She has been a widow for such a long time. We had a family prayer around 6:00, and my Grandma asked to say it. She gave such a heartbreaking and touching prayer, asking to know what she was doing wrong, and asking for strength to accept God's will. My Grandma has always been such an example of patience and willingness to accept whatever trial Heavenly Father gave her, and is still such an example at the end of her life.

She is still hanging on, and I have been pleading since Thursday that she can finally be released from this life. From what the nurse said last night though, it could still be a week. I continue to pray that this trial will be shortened for her, but felt last night that "all things must come to pass in their time" (D&C 64:32), and that God knows when it is the right time for her to die. But I also felt that when she does die and is welcomed into that beautiful, heavenly place, to see so many loved ones who have passed on, that all of this suffering will be made up, and she will understand the reasons for everything. So I am now praying to be patient and to wait on the Lord, and praying that Grandma will be comforted in however many days she has left.

Here are some pictures of my Grandma--my last living Grandparent. I'm so grateful for her life, her love for me, and her example. Even though my children will never know her personally, I'll certainly tell them about her and how much she impacted my life.

This is a picture of Grandma and Grandpa Spendlove with David, me, Jan and Jon when we were about 7 years old. It's the only early picture I could find on short notice.

Grandma has been in a care center for the last few years, and we have so enjoyed visiting her up there. This is me, Jan, my Grandma and my Mom in April 2005.

Grandma got shingles in her right hand, and it caused her so much pain. This is in September of 2006--Emilee is massaging her hand. Her hand eventually ended up closing all of the way, and she had to learn to eat with her left hand.

This is from a dinner they had at the care center in December of 2006.

This is in February, 2008, on my Mom's 60th birthday. Emma, me, my mom, Grandma, Matthew (1 month old), and Emilee.

One of the blessings that came from me leaving my job at BYU and not working for a few months was that I was able to go see Grandma almost every Friday with my Mom, Janice and Emilee. This was in July 2008--Emma was helping Jan to take Grandma to the hair place at the care center.


This is October of 2008, the Care Center's Halloween party. One of the great blessings of my job now is that my boss is often gone on Fridays, so I have been able to leave early quite a few times to still make the Friday visiting tradition. I've already been able to go a few times this year as well, which I'm so grateful for, and my work has been so good to give me time off to spend with my Grandma the last few days.

I love Grandma so much, and I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for her and is watching over her. I'm going with Mom to be with her this afternoon. I'll post more when I have time.